Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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