At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
