? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You ruined the universe
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
