Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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