U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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