I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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