Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
