Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
