Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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