WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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