hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
