remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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