susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
