When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
