I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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