you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
