that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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