I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize