Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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