I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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