people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
