yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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