i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
