Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
