so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
