Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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