Banned from zoo.
Again?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
