I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
