how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
