you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
