trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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