I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
