The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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