we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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