It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
