remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
North Korea, Best Korea!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
