I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
