i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
