let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
