I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize