yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
