the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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