i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
