Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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