Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize