i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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