We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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