So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
