I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
