quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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