I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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