even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
