At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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