A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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