its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
