That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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