Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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