Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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