Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
