Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
